


suspire with me (i'm out of time to make you mine)

by -yangtangliu (timeisaconstruct)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan is a Mess, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Mark punches a bitch, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24599119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeisaconstruct/pseuds/-yangtangliu
Summary: Mark loves Donghyuck. But Donghyuck does not love him back. That is indefinitely the truth, and Mark knows that.If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.--Jane Austen
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

> [ curious cat ](https://curiouscat.me/litteralydonghyuck)  
>    
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/pR38RElQQxK1iiu)

“Hey Donghyuck?“ Mark asked pulling his friend's attention from his lunch.

They were currently in the cafeteria eating lunch. Mark had something important to tell his friend. Mark had actually been planning for a while to tell him. Even going to the great length of asking his older brother—Johnny—for advice. Today he had finally mustered up enough courage to tell the older.

“Yeah, something wrong?“

“I need to tell you something, maybe outside?“ Mark blushed, still nervous from what he was about to confess. He was basically about to completely open himself to vulnerability.

“Yeah of course,“ Donghyuck picked up his tray, heading over to the trash can on the other side of the room. He watched as he threw away the remaining trash on his tray, depositing the now empty tray in the box for used plates. Donghyuck walks back without a backward glance, swinging an arm around Mark's shoulder. Mark gave a half-smile in response.

“Let's go.“ Donghyuck grinned, he of Donghyuck finished first, usually being the one to pull Mark away from his food because of his rush to go do something else. The cafeteria wasn't the most appealing place to be.

Mark and Donghyuck went to a normal high school with normal subjects, the only pride of the school’s aspiring basketball team and the waning in support choir team. (If Mark was on the choir team, you didn’t hear it from him.) It was a small place, and the only place to hangout was often empty classrooms, the cafeteria, or the outdoor basketball court beside a greenspace and lined with benches and lone vending machines.

Or you could do what Mark and Fonghyuck often did after lunch, which was aimlessly walking through the hallways and trying not to get caught. Mark remembers this was something they’d picked up from a senior in they’re freshman year and now as soon-to-be-graduated sophomores, the tradition still stuck.

Donghyuck takes the lead and Mark follows behind him as they walk away from the loud cafeteria and roam the halls. Other students with different schedules might be in classes so they had to be quiet but this was a feat the both of them hadn’t not done thousands of times over. Usually, right now he'd be talking with Mark about the latest tea around the school. Donghyuck had always been good with gossip. Because of his hesitant nature, Mark on the other hand never really liked getting into drama, preferring to stay on the sidelines and making sure Donghyuck doesn't die—of embarrassment that is.

“Do you wanna stop right here for a second?” They’re far out past anyone who could bother them when Donghyuck suggests it and Mark stops with him and takes a deep breath.

Donghyuck side-eyes him and Mark can’t help but notice his gaze, knowing he’s probably getting worried because if Donghyuck isn’t annoying him or Mark isn’t stressed with school whatever stressing him out is usually a big deal. But uncourtly, this isn’t something he could help him with.

“So, wassup?“ Donghyuck leaned against the lockers in the hallways as Mark fidgeted.

“So I uh,“ Mark scratched his neck. “Have I-a confession to make to you“ He diverted his eyes.

Donghyuck gives him a questioning look from where Mark stood in front of him and he gulps but tries not to let anything get to him. He’s waited for himself to gain all this confidence and can’t let himself flush all if that hard work down the drain. It’d be dumb, stupid, and useless. The hallway is quiet, and the only sounds Mark can hear are his and Donghyuck’s breathing.

“Go on.”

The tension in the hallway is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Mark wills his confession out of himself and tries to ignore his feelings of nervousness and guilt.

“I have a-a crush“

“On who?”

 _His name says his name, you are so close to getting your first boyfriend Mark Lee!_ He hypes himself up.

“O-on I-uh,” Mark struggles to contain his thoughts with the way his friend stares at him, making him feel smaller than he actually is and Mark caves to cowardice.“O-on I-uh Lucas yeah I really like Lucas and I thought I should tell you because you're my best friend?”

“Oh Mark I don't care, I thought you might like me or something.“ Donghyuck shivered pushing himself off of the wall and all thoughts of Mark ever having such a feeble thing as confidence fades to dust in his mind. “But don’t worry, I won't tease you.” _At least that’s a relief._

“So uh lunch is over now.“ Mark mentally chides himself for taking so long as Donghyuck whips out his phone, looking highly unbothered besides the thumping in Mark’s chest. “You have science next right?“

“Yeah, I can go by myse-”

“I'll walk you there.”

Donghyuck wrapped his arm around Mark's shoulders and walked with him to his locker and then science. When he finally let go to leave for his next class Marks face was tinted pink. Even after his failed confession.

* * *

Donghyuck is cool. That is a fact Mark knows well after almost two years of friendship. He’s pretty, he’s athletic, and he’s someone you don’t want to mess with. He’s the kid who has a way too many friends that are seniors, got onto the basketball team solely because his brother played—and still does—but proved to the school that his brother did teach him all his tricks and he is just as good as him. Donghyuck’s brother is the schools infamous Jung Jaehyun, basketball team ace and boyfriend to the schools prettiest cheerleader and Japanese exchange student Park Sana. Donghyuck, on the other hand, was a virgin—best friends know these things, don’t ask, but still notoriously is good with girls and Mark can’t count on one hand how many dates he’s helped him get ready.

Of course, over the two years they’ve been best friends (since the first day of high school to be exact) Mark has spent every second of everyday infatuated with his best friend. When they had first met, Donghyuck had just escaped his older brother and was complaining about leaving his best friend to go to a different school. Mark had offered to serve as a replacement and he had laughed but when Mark told him he was dead serious Donghyuck had eagerly hugged his waist.

But now as the end of their second year was slowly coming to a close Mark had wanted to act fast, but his mind had gotten the best of him. He was fucked, Donghyuck didn’t like him and that was final. Mark had sighed after one of his table mates in science had pointed out his red cheeks and he had brushed them off with the excuse of it being hot in the hallways. It wasn’t, but it’d be even worse if anyone knew.

Mark loves Donghyuck. But Donghyuck does not love him back. That is indefinitely the truth, and Mark knows that.

Mark has been in love with Donghyuck for quite some time. It wasn’t instantaneous that he realized he was in love with him, and definitely developed over a bit of time but after a few weeks into the second semester of his sophomore year, he couldn’t stop noticing every time Donghyuck entered the room or when he wasn’t present at lunch. At the time he’d simply brushed it off as a simple crush, but now Mark is head over heels for what will be three full semesters at the end of this year.

They’ve been friends for a good amount of time and were already looking at universities that might except them for the 2019-2020 school year. The future did seem far away, especially now as state testing dawned close. It made him wonder how he would ever get over Donghyuck.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day as Mark makes his way over the lunch table, he sees Donghyuck animatedly talking to another one of his friends, one of his friends who was just as popular as him. Next to him sat a boy almost as tall and almost as good as Jung Jaehhyun at basketball—but he was only talking with Donghyuck’s other friend Jung-Hee (who in Mark’s opinion was a bitch) about something that sounded like chocolate.

He sits across from the four of them and next to Jisung who is just silently eating his carrot sticks while he daydreams with big brown eyes and his adorable fluffy hair he never let anyone but his boyfriend Jaemin touch. Jisung is one of Mark’s friends, a freshman who looked lost on his first day that Mark took underneath his wing. Donghyuck has tons of friends, tons of popular people to talk with and the entire school at his mercy. But just cause they like Donghyuck, doesn’t mean they like Mark. Donghyuck insists on having him sit at the same table but often it gets a little annoying when no one likes him, so he brought Jisung along.

“Hey, Jisung.” Mark greets as he pulls out his lunchbox and Donghyuck’s eyes are immediately on him to see if he has any good food. Usually, Mark never hesitates to give him some of his lunch but today he kind of wants to eat.

“Anything good today?” Donghyuck jokes.

“Not for you. I’m hungry. Eat your own lunch.”

“But Mark,” Donghyuck whines and closes his eyes before making grabby hands at him. Mark’s entire face flushes with red and he shakes his head profoundly. “I’m your best friend, can’t you spare duckie?”

“No means no Donghyuck, you’re sixteen years old, c’mon.” His best friend quotes but Mark wills himself to look away from his cute aegyo and eat his food without Donghyuck’s prying hands.

This is, a normal lunch day. Attention seems to gravitate to Donghyuck, so it’s no surprise when Lucas opens his lunchbox and offers him some of his own. Donghyuck directs him a stare that Mark waves off silently and continues his lunch. Jisung, trades a seemingly childish pudding cup for one of Mark’s hand baked scones and Donghyuck whines at how unfair it is until he sets the pudding cup in front of him with a sigh.

Soon enough the halfway bell for lunch rings and Donghyuck stands up and runs around the table to pull Mark along with him. Jisung sends him a look of pity while Mark just rolls his eyes, not minding being dragged outside. When nobody is around, Donghyuck drops his cool, basketball-playing, popular cute kid show and lets himself be just duckie, Mark’s best friend.

His loudness reverts and he shyly laughs at the dumb things Mark has to say. Everything he regrets, Mark lets him forget about and doesn’t mind his loud cackle of a laugh or judge him or the beauty Mark’s littered all on his body. Mark lets him wipe all the makeup off and pull off his mask, leaving the bare, imperfect, Lee Donghyuck. And everyday he gets to experience it Mark thanks the gods above. His best friend is truly a gift of nature.

As they are about to exit the lunchroom—Donghyuck wrapping his arms around Mark’s waist and an excited glint in his eyes, Koeun the choir head approaches them.

“So, you gonna be with us for quarters three and four?” She asks, clutching what looks to be a signup sheet on a black clipboard. In her hand, she holds a red marker.

“Yeah of course!” Mark excitedly confirms and Koeun smiles, checking something off of a checklist before moving on.

“Sounds like the end of year graduation ceremony just got a lot better.” Donghyuck grins as they walk out. “Looks like I have to show up now, my brother _and_ my best friend are performing.”

“Don’t go for me,” Mark groans. “Go for your brother Jaehyun, he’d want you there.”

* * *

“Come over to my house today,” Donghyuck says as he swings they’re arms walking down with him after school had ended. “It’s Friday, you can’t refuse.”

“I can.” Donghyuck sharply turns his head to look at him. “You won’t.” Mark puts his hands up, letting Donghyuck’s drop for a short second. “I won’t.”

“Good.” Mark's hand falls back down and catches Donghyuck's who swings them again with a cute smile.

Mark ventures to his locker and Donghyuck leans against the ones around his, other students populating the halls as they too idly chat or walk to after school clubs. Today Neither of them have anywhere to be since their clubs don't meet so per usual they'll go home together, or walk each other to one of their houses. Choir doesn't start for a few weeks, and Donghyuck's basketball practice isn't today. He likes to skip basketball, but they don’t meet all that often anyways, and even though they’re still in the season he will probably forget practice if Mark doesn’t drag him.

Mark takes his backpack and packs up all of his things before he swings it over his shoulder and slams the door shut. Donghyuck gives a half-smile and they walk over to his, which is unfortunately on the other side of the school but it’s also closer to where Mark usually parks his car when he takes one. Today he had driven so when Donghyuck has all his stuff in hand he runs out the door to take a hold of the aux cord. Mark wonders if he knows he’d give it to him without asking.

The sight of Donghyuck impatiently and childishly pulling on the car door till Mark can get out his keys and automatically unlock it. He gives him a cheeky smile that Mark only brushes if when he slides inside the car. “How can you be like this?”

“Deal with it sucker.” Donghyuck puts his feet on the dash and gets out his phone to start his favorite playlist. Mark thinks he looks a bit like a Cliché MTV police officer, and he tells him as much. “All you need is a cigarette and a desk.”

“Next Halloween, know what to expect!” Donghyuck laughs and takes his feet down so Mark can start driving.

Mark hasn’t had this car for long, only really getting it last year because Donghyuck had begged him that his birthday was almost eleven months after Mark’s and on top of that he’d have to wait eleven months till he’d be sixteen, and even then would have to practice for about six months till he could get one. Currently, he had a permit but could only drive his parents and siblings so he could never use it unless he went and took the test. Frankly, Donghyuck liked having Mark drive him around so far, but if he did ever want to drive anyone around he’d only need one day of school off to do it. Or something to that accord, Mark stopped asking and accepted the old pickup truck with terrible mileage his grandpa had. In return, Donghyuck helped him with gas prices.

Mark was born in 1999, on August second but because of his parents not wanting him to be the youngest student, he was held back a year and instead went in with the second half of the year of 1999 babies and the first half of the year of 2000. But Donghyuck’s—who was born on June sixth, 2000—parents gave no thought when they enrolled little Donghyuck, always being one year behind his class till summer. As of now, he drives with his parents and his permit, while Mark helps him practice things that are hard for him and give him insight on the driver's test.

The soft sound of the music playing fills the car as Mark drives around they’re a moderately sized city. Donghyuck softly nods his heads to the beat, and Mark watches him quietly singing along in the rear view mirrors. At some point, Donghyuck catches his eyes and Mark quietly smiles closed-lipped at him. He’s so cute. Mark thinks to himself.

“So what do you wanna do?” Mark asks, pulling into the back of his house through the alleyway. “You wanted me to come over, so you plan it.”

“I was thinking about a movie and since I know you, we’ll do homework first.” Donghyuck turns his left, looking Mark in the eyes again.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He quirks. “But nothing has really been out lately, so we could do something else instead of that. I dunno, we still have a Netflix drama to finish or we could do something different like, make cupcakes?”

“You’d burn the kitchen pouring yourself a glass of water, I’d do all the work. But if you want me to walk you through making cupcakes, I guess we can make cupcakes. Vanilla or chocolate? Or both? I should decide since your only reading directions.”

Mark snickers because cupcakes were just the first thing he thought of, but Donghyuck is taking him a little to serious. Mark also knows his mom will probably insist on helping them so they don’t make any mistakes, so he simply puts a hand over his mouth as him and Donghyuck get out of the car with their school bags to head inside and talk to an expert first.

“Let’s just do our homework first and then we can talk about baking.”

* * *

Donghyuck lays on Mark’s bed, using his fancy mini purple desk thing he got for free at a college place that you put over your desk and it has a soft bottom and a hard surface for writing. Don’t ask—but it’s covered in paint and gold nail polish. Mark is sitting at his actual desk as he completes his homework, using the deskspace and that cool pullout wooden piece that hides just above the drawers.

He actually finished most of his work in study hall, so he’s looking over everything he’s done. Donghyuck, on the other hand, spent his free period bothering Myeon-young in the art rooms annoying teachers who were bored in the classroom. So he concentrates on getting everything he needs to be done.

“So,” Donghyuck flips half of his body to turn to his complain when he finally finishes. “Cupcakes?”

“Sounds about right,” Mark laughs. “You wanna change like I did though? It’s gonna get hot from us being together in the kitchen.”

Donghyuck snickers. “I know, once I’m in the room things get turned up real fucking hot.”

“Don’t let my mom hear you cursing.”

“Okay, close your eyes unless you wanna watch me undress.” He winks and Mark turns his chair to face the window of his bedroom with an exasperated sigh and Donghyuck gets up from his bed to look through his closet.

He picks out a grey t-shirt that is a little big on Donghyuck’s skinny body and black basketball shirts that don’t fit that well because Donghyuck has long legs. When he looks over at Mark, he sees him looking at something on Myspace so he hoists himself up on the table near Mark’s computer and watches as his eyes snap to him. “I’m done.”

“You’re shirt looks a little bit big on you.”

Donghyuck pulls on the edge near his collarbone with a tiny smile. “Not like we're going somewhere, unless you have other plans.” He swings his feet by Mark’s hands and he grabs them endearingly before letting them go. “No I don’t, but vanilla cupcakes sound really good today.”

Donghyuck moans. “I wanna use the vanilla extract and brown sugar in the frosting.”

“Whatever you want duckie.” Mark smiles.

“Alright the. Catch me if you can slowpoke.” He narrows his eyes teasingly before running out of Mark’s room to leave him scrambling after him and downstairs to the kitchen.

* * *

“One and three-fourths of flour.”

“One and three fourths?”

“Of flour.”

“One and three fourths.” Donghyuck takes a deep breath as he puts a fourth of a cup measuring spoon in the big container. He tales a deep breath before looking at Mark, clearly more stressed about cooking than he was. “Watch me—fuck Mark I’m gonna mess up—watch me.” Donghyuck sounds like he’s fucking himself with a dildo or something but he doesn’t say anything and lifts his head from where he’s mixing the wet ingredients with a mixer.

Donghyuck has always been quite nervous about cooking, things that require focus if you really want them to turn out right, and focus for all the wrong reasons. He’s had light anxiety ever since Mark has known him, not bad enough that you’d want to be concerned but bad enough that things can easily make him unable to sleep. Donghyuck’s mom also had it, and he always tells him about how annoyed and upset she can become. Even if Donghyuck understands he always hated it and tried not to react too badly at school. But Mark has seemed to forget how nervous cooking can make him.

“One,” Donghyuck drops one fourth. “Two,” another. “Three… was that three?” Donghyuck’s eyes snap to Mark across the kitchen and he nods with a small smile. “That was three fourths, now to save you trouble why don’t you go get the one cup scoop alright?”

Donghyuck nods as he gets out the one cup scoop. “Okay, okay just one more cup.” He scoops out one more cup, using a knife to get some of the excess flour on top before dropping it in the bowl with dry ingredients. Hus yes were squeezed but Mark tapped him on the shoulder, telling him to mix the wet and dry ingredients together.

“You’re just gonna mix them in the mixer alright? It’ll make them fluffy and airy, just the way you like it.” He explains and Donghyuck nods with another breath of air. “Okay.”

Donghyuck pours all of the dry ingredients into the mixing bowl, using a spatula to scoop out the small clumps. Already little bubbles were popping up in the mixture. Once Mark had explained to him that they were the result of baking soda and the way it reacts to the wet ingredients. It was also the reason delicious looking chocolate chip cookies were all over baking soda boxes. As well as, y'know, marketing and getting people to buy the products.

He turns on the mixer and the loud sound of the mixing bowl fills the kitchen and Donghyuck stays concentrated as he focuses on the mixer bowl. Mark pours in the light sprinkles as Donghyuck goes because Donghyuck wanted confetti cupcakes and who was he to refuse. Soon enough the batter has been finished and Donghyuck flicks the off switch on.the machine with an accomplished look.

“We done?” He whispers.

“Looks like it.” Donghyuck answers back.

They manage to pour the batter into the cupcake tins full three-fourths of the way with little to none incidents, eating the leftover batter despite knowing their gonna have stomach aches if they eat too much. Mark opens the preset temperate oven and slides the cupcake tin in, then to set a timer for as long as they have to wait.

“Should we start on icing now?” He asks.

“Just set an earlier timer and we’ll do it then.” Donghyuck yawns. “Cooking is stressful and tiring.”

“That’s not responsible at all duckie.” But Mark sets a timer anyways.

When they get back to Mark’s room Donghyuck takes his computer and brings it down from his desk. They laze around on Donghyuck’s Netflix account watching dumb Asian dramas with the weird clans, the terrible CGI, and the physics-defying stunts. It’s cringey but funny because this is just Donghyuck and Mark’s thing on the few times they sleepover at each other's houses. The plots usually aren’t too bad, but it’s the overused graphics that always seems to get Mark and Donghyuck laughing.

Soon Mark’s timer rings, and even though it takes a little bit of persuasion to get Donghyuck to stop watching the show and come help him make icing for the cupcakes it’s okay because Mark is used to Donghyuck’s antics. The cupcakes heavenly smell fills the kitchen when Donghyuck and Marl enter it, and Mark’s mom stands at the stove watching a pot of boiling potatoes and a sizzling pan of grilled salmon.

“Are you guys going to male the icing now?” he asks and Mark nods as Donghyuck pulls up the recipe on his own phone. “Yeah, but duckie was lazy and wanted to wait instead.”

“It’ll taste fresher.” He quirks, reaching up to get a mixing bowl on the top shelf.

Mark takes a look at the recipe and starts getting out sugar, eggs, flour, and other ingredients they need for making the perfect batch of icing. Mark’s Mom watches them as they work together, Donghyuck getting out measuring cups and teaspoon measuring spoons. Mark supposes they do work amazingly together, and wonders if they’d ever go onto a cooking show and barely say words as they worked together.

They finish the batch of icing and successfully get it in the plastic thing that squeezes out icing nice and perfect with ten minutes to spare. They use the time to scarf down the majority of dinner, and let the cupcakes cool down before spreading the icing on top. Mark watches himself fall deeper in love with Donghyuck when he’s covered in sticky sweet vanilla icing, sprinkles, and has the biggest and sweetest smile on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Donghyuck—has a crush. A crush on a _girl._ A very big crush on a girl in their grade.

Said girl’s name was Moon Myeon-young, a pretty cheerleader rumored to be the daughter of the principal and an eccentric, art-focused girl at their high school. Donghyuck was amazingly entranced with anything and everything to do with her. She spent most days drawing her favorite anime characters in endless notebooks or on her iPad she seemed to always have with her. Despite being a little bit of a weeb, she always was nice and wasn’t the smartest but nor the dumbest and most students sought to partner with her because of her witty remarks and average grades on assignments—this Mark learned all from Donghyuck's cleverness.

Mark doesn't hate Moon Myeon-young, but he hates Moon Myeon-young. up to date, she was the only person that Donghyuck was entirely enamoured with. Another thing you should know about Ms. Moon? She always been notoriously single for as long as anyone knew. Mark has endured endless lunches with her being the main talk if the table, and Mark’s minions as he likes to call them (Lucas, Jungwoo, Jung-Hee, and others) always chiming in and fueling whenever Donghyuck had wanted to talk about his infatuation with the girl and how much he wanted to be with her.

Though there had been rumours of her having a thing with the schools resident nerd Lee Minho in upper grades because of how she was notoriously in some study group run by upperclassmen, you could never be sure. Though Mark was sure he’d seen Lee Minho running into a bathroom with the Australian exchange student Chris Bang so he wasn't sure.

The thought does seem to calm Donghyuck down a bit as they prepare their art supplies for art, this Wednesday's last class. There’s only one seat in the whole classroom and it’s next to Mark and completely empty a few seconds before class begins. Moon Myeon-young still hasn’t arrived yet. Feet are heard running right up to the door and right before the door opens, Donghyuck shoves Mark over to the next seat and Moon Myeon-young runs through the door, eagerly taking the only open seat. Right in the middle of Mark and Donghyuck.

Halfway through class, Myeon-young passes him a note with Donghyuck’s pretty signing of his name haphazardly scrawled on the front. He takes it from her hand and she turns to the faint but Mark leans back in his chair to look at him, giving him a look. Lee Donghyuck isn’t one to pass notes during class but he guesses he must just be more concerned with him today or something. Which is weird because, he doesn’t want to be treated like a baby.

He opens the note, which reads **_you gucci bro_** to which Mark only responded with leaning back in his chair a second time to send him a thumbs up before getting back to the assignment. It wasn’t like they _couldn’t_ talk but Donghyuck knows that Mark doesn’t like being disturbed while he works on art and he knows that that is one thing Myeon-young and him both share, as much as it pains him.

Donghyuck, on the other hand, is a pretty non-creative person to the average eye. Mark is not that, by no means, but often all Donghyuck wants to do is play basketball and sing dumb pop songs with the rest of the school to annoy the shy kids. He likes shooting spitballs out of a cafeteria straw at Mark and Jisung whenever they study at the table because he thinks it’s funny and knows Mark’s face when he’s mad is funny to him. Mark will never understand how the hell they are friends, but he knows it’s for some reason from above and that Donghyuck will someday probably become a blessing in disguise. Even if it hurts to watch him pin over people who are not Mark, he knows that it doesn’t matter and that someday the silly thing Mark has for him will go away.

It hurts, but unfortunately, Mark is used to it.

* * *

Donghyuck is like a freak of nature, but a perfect one in Mark’s eyes. He knows he‘s flawed, knows this better than most people, but he still thinks he's perfect and beautiful. It’s probably the crush thing, you know, Mark’s complete infatuation with Lee Donghyuck and how wherever he is whenever it is, Mark us always _always_ thinking about Donghyuck.

“So that’s why you open every scene with me in it, having my thoughts instantly go to Donghyuck based thought.”

“Yes, that’s exactly why Mark Lee.” Author-nim exasperatedly says. “Now go fix the fourth wall and think about Donghyuck.”

Okay—maybe that’s not an accident—but Mark thoughts of every second of every hour of each twenty-four-hour day always seem to start and find Lee Donghyuck. Mark isn’t Mark without Donghyuck and him males this startling realization and fourth wall break while he and Donghyuck—and he’ll swear it was just a coincidence he was with him—roam the halls during their break.

Not much has even happened, with most of the school still in the period of hating school and not paying attention to anything and wishing winter break was much longer—the happiness of school friends already managing to wear off. Mark had spent most of his winter break helping a little bit more around the house with his parents and hanging out with some church friends he couldn't do all that much during school.

Donghyuck’s winter break was spent pestering Mark when he could get away from his overbearing parents and his older brother Jaehyun. Not much different from present-day if you ask him. Though currently, Donghyuck is pressed up to his side because he forgot the hallways cold get cold and is huddled next to Mark as they walk and talk together in the cold march. It’s been stressful as they prepare for state testing, especially since this year they have started preparing much earlier.

“I really hope nothing happens this testing year, you remember freshman the first year.” Donghyuck sighs, slumping a little into Mark’s side. He’s taller than Mark but still likes to act like he’s shorter, despite then going to annoy Mark for being shorter than him.

“But that Jerk deserved it,” Mark tells him. “It’s not like it was your fault or anything.”

“Still got detention though,” Donghyuck replies and reaches down shyly to take Mark’s hand in hand. Mark’s heart rate picks up slightly and Donghyuck leans close before leaning away out of Mark’s jacket, but he doesn’t say anything about it.

In their freshman year during state testing, one of Donghyuck’s classmates—Mark is pretty sure his name is Taylor or something but he doesn’t really care all that much about specifics—had purposely kicked him underneath the conjoined desks. Donghyuck had quietly asked him to stop because they were supposed to not be talking in case they were cheating on the questions. The boy did it again, so Donghyuck delivered a swift kick back and sharply told him to stop. The teacher assigned them both deletions, despite Donghyuck’s pleas.

“I don’t think anything will happen.” Mark nods his head slightly. “I’m gonna be your good luck charm, this year I’ll sit next to you and make sure nothIng bad happens.”

“Will the teachers even let you?” He somberly smiles and asks.

“I’m convincing, and if anything I’ll tell them I’m trying to keep you in line.” Mark laughs while Donghyuck scoffs, looking away from a little.

Donghyuck eventually hurdles back close to Mark because he’s cold and they continue walking. “Do you think you’ll ever tell Lucas you like him?”

“If you tell Moon Myeon-young.”

“I’ll never understand what you have against her, just call her Myeon like the rest of us.” Donghyuck sighs as he brushes off Mark’s counter back. _If I told you, you’d never forgive me for lying to you, and our relationship and would end before it started. Or you’d brush me off with a measly sorry and careless. You don’t really love me Donghyuck._

“You know I care about you right?” Donghyuck whispers close to Mark’s chest and Mark senses he’s going to talk about something serious, so he opens the door to the closest empty classroom and they take a seat on the couch in the teacher's classroom.

“Yes?”

“I’ve just been thinking.”

“About?”

“Confessing. I wanna really see if She really likes me or if she’s been leading me on. Lately, she’s been talking more and today Myeon asked me to do my art project with her.”

Mark takes a deep breath. “Did you say yes?”

“No.”

He lets the breath out. It makes Mark feels alot better but he still forces his words out instead. He knows that this means as much to Donghyuck as Donghyuck means to him. Maybe even a little less, since Mark selfishly wants to think he’s more than Moon Myeon-young and can love him better than her. “Because we’re partners? We can always switch for her you know-”

“No,” Donghyuck affirms. “We’re partners because you asked if I was partners with her only one of us would be happy. We’ve done tons of projects together and we know how we work together. I don’t know how I work with her so I’ll stick to what I know.” Donghyuck says and Mark feels himself fall a little more into his everlasting hell of being in love with Donghyuck Lee. How can he be so perfect like that? He really wants to know.

“No, I just wanted to tell you, because you're my best friend.” Donghyuck looks up from his lap. “Pretty sure I’m obligated too.”

“Well, I’m glad you told me.” Mark takes one of Donghyuck’s hands again, they’re so pretty though so how can he not, soon though if things go right for Donghyuck—and not necessarily good for Mark—these hands will belong to someone else and he’ll go to someone else for important things. “It means a lot to me.” _You’ll only leave we soon enough Donghyuck, this is the last I’ll ever get._

“When do I not tell you things?”

Mark is silent, but not for Donghyuck’s reasons, question, and thinking.

“Exactly.”

The next Tuesday after seeing Donghyuck off down the hallway to his basketball practice Mark finds himself walking into a choir with his head held as high as he possibly can. Things have been moderately okay ever since Donghyuck had informed him off his plans, and things were normal for the better part if the next few days. Koeun welcomed him into the room with a smile and Mark waved back, picking up one of the school guitars and setting it in his lap. He was the unofficial second choir leader after her, always making sure to help her with everything she needed. As Mark aimlessly strummed on his guitar the rest of the club slowly filed in as Mark played the many sings he knew by heart.

Soon enough though, Koeun starts the meeting. “This year for the senior's graduation ceremony it’ll be just like the others except we’ll have some help from our special guest Hendery playing the drums and his friend Yangyang on the violin.” A black-haired boy twirls a pair of drumsticks with a smile and a brown-haired boy with a case in his lap simply nods. “Along with our one and only guitarist Mark Lee of course.”

It’s normal each year to have some volunteers come and play instruments at the end of the graduation ceremony for the seniors and Mark smiles a bit at them as they all discuss the parts and songs they want to include. Mark recommends the one Ed Sheeran song everyone knows, suggesting it because it's one of his best plays while Yangyang seems to _really_ want to do at least _something_ by Clean Bandit. But Mark doesn't mind all that much.

The practice is over within an hour and the members happily file out of the room with they’re friends and mates. Mark stays back, still looking at one of the songs that were selected and going over the notes even though it‘s still pretty early. He knows he has a sort of a reputation for always getting it right and he wants to practice the hard parts till the easy parts become harder. A sharp knock on the door surprises him and he promptly falls off the wobbly stool he was sitting on.

Mark looks up and Donghyuck stands at the door with a little smirk on his face holding a bag of Wendys. Knowing him it’s likely filled _entirely_ with fries that he’ll much on while doing his homework. It’s unhealthy but if Mark has learned one thing from being friends with him it’s that the majority of the time Donghyuck does what Donghyuck wants. He does that, plopping himself in the dirty carpeting and opening up his school laptop. “Show me what you got.” He quirks. “I’m bored and you’re gonna practice either way.”

Mark only smiles and does just that for him, repeatedly strumming his fingers on the instrument until he finds the melody he wants. The words of an old and forgotten nursery song he used to audition with for a measly role in a children's play comes back to him. He remembers, practicing on end for weeks till his audition till the date of his audition—and yes he got in.

 _“The other night dear, as I lay sleeping…”_ He mumbles to himself and Donghyuck’s eyes snap to him. He thinks he’s done something wrong until he gives him his brightest smile and Mark hesitantly returns it lost in thought and remembering the old lyrics. _“ _I dreamed I held you in my arms. But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken._ ”_

" _So I hung my head and I cried._ " Mark whispers, and Donghyuck keeps his stare on him. _"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, You make me happy when skies are gray."_

“ _You'll never know dear, how much I love you…_ ” Mark smiles over at Donghyuck who patiently listens to his slow strummed song. “ _Please don't take my sunshine away,_ ” He finishes quietly, not exactly remembering anymore and not exactly wanting to finish it. A burning he's come to associate with crying appears in the back of his throat, but he gulps and pushes the feeling down, repeating the last line. “ _Please don't take my sunshine away._ ”

“Who’s your sunshine, Markie?” He innocently asks and Mark’s brain short circuits as he’s still not fully there. “You.”

“You’re funny.” Donghyuck giggles and turns back to his work but Mark means it. “I'm sure if you sang that song to Lucas, he'd want to be your boyfriend in a instant.”

_I wish yo knew that I really could care less about him. I couldn’t possibly live without you and somedays I selfishly wish you knew._

* * *

It’s only the next coming monday as Mark struggles to fall asleep that he dreams of something he can’t explain. All his classmates face the front where Mark finds himself standing and he supposes he is giving some kind of presentation. The students get up from their seat suddenly, along with his teacher Mr. Zhang, crowding around him in a circle. Right in front of him is Donghyuck, staring directly at him and Mark falls to the ground while his eyes force eye contact before the floor open’s up and he falls through.

Mark watches from below as the floor breaks apart and several pieces of furniture fall through with him. His classmates are watching, taunting, and even laughing but Donghyuck’s rageful eyes are focused on Mark like he’s committed a terrible crime, watching him as he helplessly falls deeper and deeper until Mark can no longer see him.

He looks all around him at the boulders, chairs, and desks falling with him down a grey rocky edged and dark hole. Mark tries to climb up and near the sides, trying to grab onto the sides and walls. He almost succeeds but at the very last minute Mark’s hand slips and he feels a hotness boiling in his stomach and tears welling up in his eyes. He flios himself over to look downward and try to look at what’s below. It’s too dark to see anything and Mark feels helpless as he looks to the sides of the wall.

Again, and again Mark tries to latch onto the sides but fails as he falls deeper and deeper into the hole. His body slams and thrusts itself at the wall but he never stops his fall and only silently screams at the pain of being thrown against the wall repeatedly. Tears sting at his eyes, but Mark can’t find his voice as he tries to grasp onto something while he falls until he gives up.Falling freely with the falling objects surrounding him at the same pace, tears falling right below him like the pull of gravity puls Mark to the ground.

He tries clawing at his neck, trying to breathe and screaming as no sound comes out and tears keeping on running and falling at the same rate he is, welling up in hus eyes and making him blink them out but with no avail, because the tears can’t fall if Mark himself us in motion. He flips himself upwards, letting himself slump as the tears pool again and turn his eyes into a pool.

Mark feels so _so tired_ as he falls, and just as he closes his eyes for what might be his last time, he feels himself hit the ground and Mark cries in relief, lying on the ground as the tears finally leave his eyes and Mark is rendered to silence. For the first time in his life Mark cries out in relif at feeling the ground. The last thing on his mind at the end of his dream is the face of Donghyuck as he watched him helplessly fall.

Mark wakes up with wet eyes, hugging his duvet and feeling like shit. It’s five-thirty in the morning according to his bedside clock, but somehow he knows that tonight he won’t be sleeping and Mark wipes his eyes before pushing his blanket to the side and stepping out if bed.

He picks up his phone, sideswiping all his notifications until he reaches Donghyuck’s goodnight message from before. Mark knows he’s in a weak place right now, and he knows how much of a mess he feels and probably looks like at the time. But he still presses call.

 _“Mark Lee?”_ Donghyuck answers after a few rings, sounding tired and a pang if guilt runs through Mark’s body. But a bigger rush of happiness at being awnsered runs through his body.

“D-donghyuck-ah!” Mark’s voice cracks, and he feels tears coming out again. “I-i d-donghyuck!” he sobs and falls to the floor, weak in the knees and now completely breaking down.

“Fuck, Markie, what’s going on, are you okay?”

“No!” He cries into the phone.

“Okay, it’s okay Mark. Wh-why don’t we calm down a bit okay Markie? Take a deep breath Mark. I need you to take a deep breath for me, Markie.”

Mark shakily takes a deep breath and as Donghyuck calms him down over his phone, trying to calm his racing heart and let himself mull over what had just happened. He raises himself to get up from the floor and take a seat on the edge of his bed.

“Mark? Markie? Are you okay? Are you there?”

“I-i’m here.” He whispers.

“Do you wanna talk about whatever happened?”

“Not really…” Mark whispers. “But I’ll tell you.”

Donghyuck lets out an affirmative okay and Mark begins to tell him about the horrors of his nightmare and all of the emotions he felt and how surreal the experience was. Donghyuck patiently listens, not saying a word till he finishes.

“Well,” he huffs. “If you ever start falling out of a hole in the ground in the middle of math class I’ll fall with you so we can fall together. Even if I’m really _really_ mad at you.”

He laughs and is silent before speaking up again. “I just felt so fucking scared Donghyuck.” Mark chokes out in a whisper. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“I won’t let you.” Donghyuck promises. “And you can hold me to that till my last dying breath.”

“How about I just hold you to ice cream after school tommorrow?”

“I think we can do that. It’s Tuesday so you have choir practice right? I have my basketball practice too, it all works out.” Donghyuck says and Mark whispers back a soft and subdued yes. “Then hold me to that ice cream Mark Lee.”


	4. Chapter 4

School ends soon and after a painful art class, Mark has a bouncing Donghyuck on his heels trying to get him to hurry up, packing his bag so they could go and get the promised ice cream. Mark isn’t one to be too keen on eating ice cream, especially in the middle of the week over something he’s been trying to convince himself is just a feeble nightmare

Donghyuck had always liked a simple two scop chocolate in a cup with nothing else. unlike Mark who liked plain vanilla with a cherry, gummy worms, sprinkles, and double scoop on a cone.

The line for ice cream isn’t too long, and soon enough Donghyuck is pulling out his wallet and swiping his card.

Mark suddenly broke the silence looking guilty. “Thank you, Donghyuck. For doing this I mean. You didn’t have to do anything.”

“Of course,“ The latter replied. “I'd do anything for you, besides I try my hardest to keep promises with the people I love.” He smiles brightly.

Mark’s heart skips a beat at his words, but he calms himself down knowing that Donghyuck doesn’t mean it like that, even if he wants him too. Mark eats his ice cream slowly because he has sensitive teeth and has always been way more prone to brain freezes from cold things. But while he dies, he watches over the table as Donghyuck stuffs his mouth full with ice cream, making him cringe. How could people be blessed except look so weird? Mark would never know.

“Are you doing okay? Mentally? Or even physically if that’s a problem?” Donghyuck asks.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Mark says without thinking rather harshly, and then watches Donghyuck’s face fall as he remembers his dream, the topic of conversation he didn’t want to start.

Donghyuck lets out some air out of his nose but he doesn’t look particularly bothered. “Your dream, Mark Lee.”

“I’m fine about that too.”

Donghyuck doesn't say anything, but his look says it all. He’s long gone finished his cup of ice cream, sitting discarded in front of him on the table. Mark slowly eats his ice cream cone and just observes the shop. People come in and out, but since it’s late February, not a lot of people are in the store. Donghyuck has a strange feeling in his chest correlation to Mark, he wants to worry about him because he’s his best friend but he feels like it goes deeper. Donghyuck wants Mark to know he’ll always be there for him, regardless of anything.

Mark on the other hand is too busy gazing at him to think about anything of actual importance. The light from the window lights up his view of Donghyuck, heighting his beauty marks and other attributes. It’s been a short while since Mark has been able to relish staring at Donghyuck for long periods of time, but while he very clearly seems to know what Mark is doing, doesn’t say anything. Maybe he recognizes that he’s daydreaming. Oh what he’ll never know.

“Mark.”

He hears him but doesn’t want to start talking to him, opting to continue staring at him while slowly consuming his ice cream cone.

“Mark Lee.”

“Hmm?”

“Stop daydreaming.”

“I’m not, hyuck.” Mark mumbles and looks to the side of him with his lips pressed closed. He was daydreaming.

Donghyuck knows it as he silently looks up at the fidgeting Mark across the table. It’s cute, the way Mark will sometimes get lost and thought and just aimlessly stare at the wall or gaze at a random person. Donghyuck watches him take the last bite of his ice cream cone with a smile, not all that bothered by him but still concerned, he’s been different lately. Mark closes his eyes for a moment as he crunches Mark bites down on the remaining cone to distract himself from talking and the melted sweet ice cream explodes into his mouth. Mark has to hold himself back from making any noise at how good it tastes.

“I’m worried about you, you know.” Mark frowns as Donghyuck looks at him over the table. “I know you are, you shouldn’t have to be.”

“But you’ve been acting differently, shyer, did something happen?” _Oh Donghyuck-ah, you’ve started noticing all too late._

“I’m always like this, I think it’s just you.” He says instead, trying to lighten himself up and joke. He doesn’t know what he’d do if, Donghyuck discovered his crush, and then asked him about it with no intentions to date him. “We haven’t slept over at my house in awhile, you know my mom really misses you? If not it’s fine, just she was asking me about it this morning.” She wasn’t, but it was a nice enough white lie to get away with and change the subject with a good outcome. Mark wouldn’t mind someone to help him fall asleep and his mother a extra person at the dining room table.

“My parents will be expecting me home soon, but I can drop by for a bit when you walk home?” It seems to work, but with a bad side effect and Mark’s face flushes pink.

“You- I’m not a date, I can walk myself home perfectly fine, why’d you say that?” Red blush continues to fill out his cheeks and ears, but for the first time in a lifetime Donghyuck catches himself thinking about things not entirely platonic. Mark did look kind of cute today, but he still wanted to know what was up.

Donghyuck simply tries to cover up his thoughts with a joke instead. “Of course you aren’t, would split the tab on a first date.”

“Such a gentleman you are hyuck, c’mon let’s head home.”

* * *

A few weeks pass and Mark and Donghyuck busy themselves as April comes closer and closer. But trouble only seems to come when Moon Myeon-young asks to spend her lunch period with Donghyuck and without Mark. He frowns quietly at the text on his phone when he steps out of the bathroom and his phone rings but decides that Donghyuck spends _every_ lunch with him and he won’t die one day without him.

Mark thinks about spending lunch at Donghyuck’s table but Mark isn’t all that popular opposed to his best friend, and he’s sure they would have no problem simply kicking him away from the table. When he does pass by the entrance to the cafeteria Jisung meets him at the door with his bag. “Let’s leave campus for lunch today!” He smiles.

Mark scans the hallway, Donghyuck lost in sight from the last time he saw him being fourth block american history. As much as it’s like his second instinct to always be with the younger, Mark let’s the freshman pull him off campus to a vietnamese place he knows.

“Mark,” He whines as they sit down. “Stop being so tense.”

“I’m not tense I’m just trying to find that hella good shaking beef dish I usually persuade hyuck to get so I can get the pho soup and we can trade spoons if brother for yummy beef and tiny rice grains.”

“Are you sure you guys aren’t dating yet?” Jisung asks, fringe falling in his eyes when Mark looks up from the menu he was attacking with his eyes.

He looks back down at the menu. “Pretty sure.”

“You’d be so cute.” Jisung dreamily says. “You know my friend Jaemin is a sophomore and he’s friends with Renjun, a junior like you and _he’s_ friends with Myeon who thinks Donghyuck has a crush on her.”

“And he thinks he’s not obvious about it.”

“He likes Myeon?” Jisung says just a little too loud.

Mark shushes. “So what if he does?”

Jisung points to the door where a certain excited looking Donghyuck not subtly is trying to take a hold of a certain annoyed looking Moon Myeon-young. They sit at a table with cushion seats pushed up to the door, only one table away from them. Jisung bounces excitedly as he looks back and forth from Mark in the chair in front of himself and Donghyuck who’s only a table away on the cushiony seats. Moon Myeon-young sits across from him, immediately picking up the menu without a word opposed to Donghyuck who picks up the menu but keeps on watching her. Jisung reaches across the table to tap one of Mark’s cheeks, and startledly he looks at him, and then at the waiter.

“What would you two gentleman like?”

“I’ll get number eighteen, the beef and rice with matcha milk tea to drink.”

“All Right, and for you sir?” She looks at Jisung who nods, looking over the menu once more before he orders. “I’ll get chocolate milk and the chicken tenders with lentil soup.” Mark looks at him after they order and back at the waiter. “I think that’s all Miss.”

“Food should be out in about twenty minutes.” And the waiter leaves them be, walking over to where Donghyuck and Moon Myeon-young are seated. Mark watches as they take their orders and the waiter writes them down on her little piece of paper.

“So,” The freshman starts, following Mark’s line of sight. “D’ya think they’re out on a date?”

“Maybe.”

“Aren’t ’ya mad about it?”

“Why would I be mad?”

 _Does he know?_ “Well he’s your best friend and he never told you anything about it right?” Jisung inquires and Mark lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, feeling a tension in his shoulders leave that went unnoticed.

“Guess that’s a valid reason.” He wonders. “But he doesn’t have to tell me everything, we’re best friends not dating.” _Sure fucking wish we were though…_

“Well I would!” Jisung says. “But I also don’t have a best friend. So we’ll never know.”

From Mark’s peripheral vision he watches Donghyuck reach across the table and hold Moon Myeon-young’s hand in his own. He feels his gut twist and bile rise up in his mouth as he unwraps a paper straw with his other hand and reaches across the table to hand it to her. Mark can’t tell if she smiles because of the angle but Donghyuck does and Mark feels like he’s going to puke.

Jisung snaps his fingers, and Mark looks away from them, feeling a bit guilty that he’s not paying attention to the person he was supposed to be. Jisung starts up a conversation about the things that are happening around school—gossip, events, and other things Mark doesn’t care about—but he’ll humor him.

Mark hates the fact that Donghyuck didn’t tell him he was out on a date, but he’ll forgive him. He hates the fact that he’s still feeling overwhelmingly jealous when he knows he bever had a chance in the first place. He hates that Donghyuck is straight. But it doesn’t do any good to dwell on stubborn things and he simply tries to ignore as Donghyuck feeds Myeon only a table away. He shoves his shaking beef in his mouth as Jisung shoots him worried looks.

And If Mark almost runs out of the vietnamese restaurant when Donghyuck asks Moon Myeon-young to split the bill, it isn't anyone’s business except for his.

* * *

Mark—doesn’t talk to Donghyuck after his date all that much. He doesn’t _mean_ to ignore him, but it happens slowly and he feels himself gradually spending more time with Jisung and his friends when Donghyuck spends a few more lunch periods with Moon Myeon-young. It doesn’t really come to light considering how much Donghyuck is infatuated with his crush. He even touches him to talk to her himself, telling him he wants Donghyuck to have a girlfriend before state testing takes place—even if that couldn’t be farther from the real truth.

Jisung and his friends are _okay_ company and Mark has a little fun as well with some of the seniors he’s friends with because of how close they are in age. Sometimes, of course, Donghyuck remembers his best friend and a few times a week he eats lunch with him. But instead of roaming the hallways, Mark makes up excuses about the choir club and spends time with Koeun and her friend Mina. It’s not all that bad when Mark ignores Donghyuck because he tells himself it’ll help himself get over Donghyuck faster and they’ll just fall back to normal one way or another.

Things only start to take a turn for the worse downhill when an incident happens. It’s a nice day outside and Mark’s second period class is let out early by the teacher with about twenty five minutes to themselves. Donghyuck’s second block on the other hand, which is biology is having a lab outside. From what he overheard from the instructions they are to find samples of things like mud, dry dirt, grass, leaves, and bark to study. Later they’ll take them back inside, look over them with microscopes, and record they’re results. It sounded pretty fun, and Mark was definitely excited for when he would have the class later in the day.

Mark sits comfortably on a tree branch, reading a book quietly when he hears commotion below him. He’s quite high up in the tree, and hidden by some surrounding branches that no one can really see him from below. When he takes a look down to where he heard talking, he’s met with the last two people he wants to talk too. Miss Moon Myeon-young and The love of his life, Lee Donghyuck.

“Donghyuck?” She says and Mark imagines Donghyuck perking up with a little innocent smile to look at her. “Yes?”

“I have something I need to confess to you.” Mark imagines her taking a deep breath before she looks at him. But then the words and the added dread set into Mark’s body. _She’s gonna say it, fuck, she’s gonna say it._

Mark tries to get down as silently as he can, but then tries to calm himself down and just let it happen. It’s not his place to intervene, and he’d hate himself forever if he did, losing his best friend and love of his life in the process. He hears the dried grass mixed with the fresh grass crunch underneath her feet as she walks closer to Donghyuck. Mark wonders if she’d put a hand delicately on his cheek.

“I’ve known you’ve liked me for some time now.” She continues, and she sounds almost guilty like she’s done something wrong. Mark heards the “And I’m afraid I don’t like you back.”

Mark heats from below Donghyuck letting out a gasp and hears something fall. “I just, I don’t think I’m the person for you Donghyuck. I’m so sorry but I don’t think I can be. I- I have a boyfriend, and I just, I’m sorry if you felt like leading you on, I'm sorry Donghyuck Lee!” Mark hears how her voice slowly gets more and more panicked as she struggles to keep her cool before he hears feet hitting the grass and later a bit fainter on the pavement.

Mark can’t even imagine the way Donghyuck must be feeling, so he tries to get up from his position on the tree, he gets half of himself when he realizes his foot is stuck in part of the tree he didn’t notice. _Fuck._ Mark tries to pull on his foot at first in a haste, but that only hurts him and causes even more pain. Then he goes down to the source of the pain, tugging on it till it’s loose enough to tug out with his foot. He picks up his book, and tugs as hard as he can on his foot.

Everything happens in slow motion, Mark feels his foot pull free and a great sense of relief fill his body. But before he knows it he’s falling backwards, mouth open in a silent scream as he squeezes his eyes tight and shut. He feels himself falling through the bushes and branches and leaves of the tree, and it’s just like his dream except he’s going so fast he can’t grab onto anything so he curls into himself. He braces himself for the fall to the hard, tree root filled and dirty ground but the feeling never comes.

Instead, he hears a gasp and warm hands cradling his body all around and his fast paced heart being pressed to someone’s chest. Mark blinks open his eyes, gasping himself when he realizes the one and only Lee Donghyuck caught his fall. Mark gapes like a fish as Donghyuck’s panicked face expressions turn soft and he holds Mark a little tighter.

“Donghyuck,” he whispers out and reaches up a hand to wipe his tears. “Duckie.”

“You’re one and only.” He leans down and presses a kiss to Mark’s forehead. “I told you that I’ll fall with you if you fell through the floor but it looks like this time I managed to catch your fall instead.” Mark feels himself going red and pushes himself out of Donghyuck’s arms, unaware of the way he watches him as he stumbles and stands up on wobbly legs like a doe who was just born.

“I-i was reading my book in the tree, and then I heard Moon Myeon-young, but my foot was stuck an-” Donghyuck puts a hand over Mark’s mouth and he stops talking when his words get muffled.

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I’ll get over her.” Donghyuck says like he’s trying to convince himself and Mark smiles for his sake. “But don’t risk your welbeing for me again.”

“I didn’t _intend_ to fall for you.” _Figuratively and literally unfortunately._

“What did you say?”

Mark groans. “I said: I didn’t _intend_ t-”

“No after that.”

“I didn’t say anything after that.”

“You did!”

“No I didn’t!” Mark nervously laughs as Donghyuck sidelites him. “You’re hearing things my friend.”

“Period two!” Donghyuck and Mark both stop they’re conversation to go look at Donghyuck’s science teacher. “Gather your stuff in the next few minutes so we can head inside.”

Donghyuck looks over to Mark as he tries to walk away, grabbing his hand. “Forget it whatever, do you need to go to the nurse?”

“No I’m fine. You caught me after all.” He says, mumbling a bit. “I did.” Donghyuck smirks and Mark feels himself blushing again. “Well I’ll see you fourth period, don’t hurt yourself anymore.” Donghyuck smiles and waves as he runs off and Mark feels himself going weak in the knees for the second time in ten minutes but this time it’s for an entirely different reason.

* * *

“You gonna start talking to me again and not ignoring me now?” Mark jumps as he enters the lunchroom and hears Donghyuck behind him. Mark cringes and feels guilt welling up in him. “I’m sorry, I wanted to let you spend more time with her after I saw you two out on a date a few weeks ago.”

Donghyuck sighs and pushes past Mark lightly as he walks towards where Jisung sits with his two friends Jaemin and Renjun. “Whatever it was it doesn’t matter.” “Wait.” Mark grabs his arm and he turns around to look at him, looking partly confused. “Don’t you wanna sit by _your_ friends?”

“No, _no_.”

Donghyuck pulls on Mark’s hand in his wrist, pulling him close to his back. Mark looks around from where they stand in the middle of the quiet of its usual chatter cafeteria. Most of the students are staring and watching them for their next move. Mark feels his breath picking up as he kind of twirls looking at all angles if the table seems to watch him, whispering and talking. God, today really is the worst day ever.

Donghyuck sickly looks around for a second, eyes focusing on Moon Myeon-young who sits in the corner with a senior Mark doesn’t recognize. She kisses him on the cheek and he notices they’re holding hands and whispering to each other. Mark’s gut twists at the shocked expression on Donghyuck’s face. He gives her a look Mark can't see before he runs off to the double-doored cafeteria and Mark looks around once more before he hurries after the younger male.

Outside of the cafeteria Donghyuck let’s a long drawn breath come out, a few tears sliding down his face before he tightly grips Mark’s hand and takes off with him down the hallway. It’s only then Mark realizes his answer from before was probably more directed at his own unbelieving self rather than Mark. Donghyuck eventually let’s go of his hand, walking at a fast pace down the hall as Mark looks around like a lost little girl before running after him. He stops in front of a locker, but before he can do anything that damages school property he slides himself into it’s place.

“ _I **HATE** HER.”_

Every punch Donghyuck takes at his body feels like hell but soon Donghyuck’s punch gets more erratic and loser to the point where he’s just hitting Mark’s chest to help himself feel better. When he finally stops, standing there with tears welled up in his eyes and gritting his teeth Mark pulls him close, muffling his crying as he places a soothing hand on his back.

“I hate her so fucking much.” Donghyuck cries into his chest and Mark could never agree more. Anyone who makes Donghyuck behave in a way Mark’s never seen ever before deserves a very painful death.

“I know.”

“Everything’s been so shitty.” Donghyuck cries. “I don’t- I don’t wanna have this stupid crush on her even now a-and the fact that she did that in front of everyone.” Mark holds Donghyuck while he tries to calm him down, watching him as he wipes his tears, uses some tissues from his back pocket to wipe his face, and just let’s Mark hold and rock him side to side.

“I know baby.”

“At least I have you.”

_All he wants is for his sun to stop being rained on so much._


	5. epilogue

Donghyuck hasn’t come to school for a entire week. Mark, tries not to let it affect him that much, attending all his classes like normal and hanging out with Jisung’s friends. He tries repeatedly to text Donghyuck, who he can tell is at least reading them by the little snapchat icon at the bottom but not responding. He doesn’t have motivation to do things most days, weighed down by the guilt, anxiety, nervousness and other things. He does all the things he is supposed to do, goes to school, talks to people, does his chores at home and helps his parents—anything to distract himself from his thoughts. Moon Myeon-young tries to approach him several times over but Mark simply ignores her, she’s already dumped enough oil in this fire. The thing that really ticks him off happens during lunch the fifth day Donghyuck hasn’t showed up--friday.

“Hey Mark Lee.” She smiles sweetly and Jisung gives her a look, but Mark waves him off, continuing to eat his food. A few people fall silent and if Mark were to look around he’d see people with Cameras up, maybe they saw how agitated he was today, or they had a feeling something might go down. All Mark wished was that he kept his cool and she didn’t try him too much today. He was so done with everyone. “I have a question for you,” She puts a finger to her chin. “How is Donghyuck doing? I haven’t seen him all week, I assume you know where he is right?”

Mark doesn’t answer, twirling the ramen in his metal thermos before snarfing it down. He was really hungry, but it was only a facade to keep himself calm. Inside his mind is raging with curses and as much as he wants to hurt her he doesn’t want to start anything. Inside he wants to throw a hard, jaw breaking punch to Moon Myeon-young’s face for each of the soft hits Donghyuck had made to Mark’s chest last friday. But he doesn’t, and resorts to stabbing the bottom of his thermos with the wooden chopsticks he has for lunch.

“Oh, you don’t?” She sickly says. “Well if you don’t know where he is, do you think that maybe I went too far? I’m sorry for that Mark Lee, maybe you can tell him that but you should know I have good reasoning!” _Too far? Bitch you only think you know._ Out of the corner of Mark’s eyes she nods her head a lot as if talking to a child. Mark looks her straight in the eye and doesn’t say anything, only glaring her down, feeling a bit satisfied when she cowers a bit.

“I do have good reasoning! You know, he should have known that I didn’t want to be with him. Maybe if he was more perceptive he could have saved himself some of the pain You know, I tried dropping hints at first, telling him I was interested in older boys but then it became so fun to have someone buying me all these things and not even letting me pay so I-”

 _”Don’t_ talk about Donghyuck like that, _you sick bitch.”_

Mark punches her straight in the jaw and she falls backward, hitting her head on the metal bench with a loud sounds before falling inward at Mark’s feet, back on the floor underneath the table. The cafeteria full of students gasp, and a girl who seems to be Moon Myeon-young’s friend rushes up to her halfway before Mark gives her a look and she backs away. Mark wants Moon Myeon-young to live out all the embarrassment the same way Donghyuck did, except now no one is willing to help her like Mark was. She looks up at him, eyes brimming with tears and a scared look in her eyes. Mark doesn’t budge one bit, pride swelling up in him at the way he’s reduced her too. Part of him even wants to take a picture to send to Donghyuck, but he holds off and watches her instead, sendinga small kick to his side.

Several other people had their phones out from before, recording as she sat down and he knows she’ll be all over social media in a few seconds. Moon Myeon-young scoots back on the dirty cafeteria floor, back out under the table before shakily standing up. She holds up a hand to her bruised blooming cheek, that has a trickle of blood running down. All the while Mark keeps his eyes narrowed in on hers, gripping the cup of Ramen he holds. She shakily steps back before running out of the cafeteria. Mark overlooks the room, and everyone looks at him in fear. No one dares to run after her. Mak only feels a bit satisfied as he goes back to his lunch. The rest of the people sitting by him don’t say a word, but Jisung send him a look he waves off.

Koeun suspends him from practice for the next two weeks on the excuse that he kept on getting the notes wrong, but he knows it’s because of the fight. Can he even call it a fight when Moon Myeon-young is so weak she fell after one hit? He doesn’t know. He tries to keep his head up and not be too laggy anyways for the rest of the day, and accepts the detention the principal hands out. Donghyuck’s never spent this much time away from school and he can only hope he’s okay. He’d talked with Jaehyun after school, who only told him he was planning something and to expect him at his house on that night. Which did not help at all but he wouldn’t say anymore. Mark just wants him to be okay, and if Jaehyun wants him to wait, he will wait.

* * *

True to his words, after school at about five pm, Donghyuck shows up at his house. He’s wearing makeup, it’s light but still there, gold glasses, and a simple white t-shirt with blue jeans. Mark’s mom let’s him, so when Mark opens the door to his room after hearing knocking. He pulls one hand from behind his waist and holds out a small bouquet of sunflowers and blue violets.

“How the fuck did you get a blue flower?” Is his first question when he looks up from the bouquet he holds. Donghyuck smiles down at him and gently takes one of his hands and puts it in anyways, not saying anything.

“Doesn’t matter. All that matters is that tonight I’m taking you out.” _On a date,_ goes unsaid but they both hear it regardless.

“Duckie I-”

“ _Doesn’t matter._ ” Donghyuck looks up and giggles, holding both of Mark’s hands and the lamplight from Mark’s room reflects on his lips where he must have layered a bit of chapstick or used a thicker one than his normal one. Mark feels a little confused and a lot like he’s not following but looks down at his basketball shirts and hoodie, blushing.

“C-can I get dressed?”

“Of course.” Donghyuck wraps Mark’s hands around the bundle of flowers. He leans close to Mark’s cheek, and he feels his breath fanning on his cheek before he presses a quick light kiss and pulls back with a pensive looking facial expression and closes the door in front of himself.

Donghyuck lets out a deep breath, looking up as if he has a nosebleed or will start crying, turning around to face away from the door. He’s done a great deal of thinking this past week, pondering over his thoughts, and feelings, as well as everything that’s happened recently. After his little episode at school, he’d left school as soon as the bell sounded that lunch was over. He’d had a lot of time to think over what he felt during that day and what it meant for his and Mark’s relationship.

Donghyuck knew the feeling he got in his chest when Mark blushed at one of his comments or as he watched him happily scarf down the cupcakes they made together. It was the feeling he felt while on dates with Myeon. He knew the feeling he felt when he heard him crying on the phone. It was the feeling he felt when he saw her crying one day after class in sophomore year when a boy broke her heart. He knew the feeling he felt as he watched Mark slowly eat his cup of ice cream, and he knew the feeling all too well when he fell into his arms.

Donghyuck was falling out of love, and into love with two different people. His heart still beat fast when thinking about Moon Myeon-young but it was fast with heartbreak and resentment. Donghyuck’s heart beat fast for Mark full of new love, happiness, and the feeling of finally having another chance. But this time he was sure to do it right, and he was going to start with the no brainer, classic way to win they’re heart, picnic date.

Donghyuck knew it was an all time classic—and if executed right—the perfect date, with the perfect food, in a perfect spot with your all around perfect person was foolproof to make someone swoon if they haven’t already. Alas Donghyuck knows Mark already has because it wasn’t hard to look past a pay closer attention to the way he acted around him with his rose tinted glasses for Myeon finally discarded. He saw the way Mark stumbled over his words for him and it made his heart swell so much. Yeah, Donghyuck definitely knew he was in love with the right person.

* * *

On the other side if the door, Mark stares at his shirts as Donghyuck’s words run, skip, jump, and play all around the confines of his noggin. His heart still bears fast and his cheek still burns from the kiss but he tries to ignore it. Mark’s first date, with his best friend, Mark was nervous and excited as he shoved himself into black jeans, a grey long sleeve shirt, and vans. It was impulsive but Mark thought he looked fine anyways. Besides, you only live once. Mark also applies a generous amount of chapstick and sticks it in his pocket with his wallet and phone because you bever know when you’ll be kissed.

There were so many questions Mark wanted—no _needed_ —answers to but he would wait and let Donghyuck explain himself. More often than not it was easier to just let Donghyuck explain himself in tine or give a reason for not doing so. God, Mark knows him so well. He looks at himself in the mirror, shirt in a french tuck and lips glossy and before he can stop his impulses, placing a beret on top. Hat’s were bombass, don’t tell him differently.

Donghyuck can’t stop the gasp when he sees Mark all dressed up which is generally a rare occasion. Most of the time when Donghyuck.does and he doesn’t he’ll simply say that they’re best friends who’ve seen each other's highs and lows together platonically and it’s fine. But now? Damn Mark _really_ should wear those jeans a little more often. Because Donghyuck might just get arrested for sexual harassment by the end of this date.

“Wow…”

“You said it was a date, so I dressed up.” Mark blushes and Donghyuck takes his hand and swings it, with a grin. Mark shyly looks down, noticing how it's the same one he used to punch Moon Myeon-young as he moseys his foot near Donghyuck. “You know, you don’t look so bad yourself.”

They hurry down the stairs and Donghyuck opens the door for him, watching the pretty blush rise on his cheeks again. Mark steps outside and gasps, a hand over his mouth, as he looks into the driveway. Another thing Donghyuck did was take all his driving lessons and put them to good use, earning himself an upgrade from a permit driver to a driver's license. The car was actually his neighbor's Cadillac that Donghyuck asked to borrow especially for him. Mark should be thankful, he’s the only person he’d do this for.

“Duckie yo-”

“Do you like it? It’s pretty fancy isn’t it. I borrowed it from a friend for you. I thought you might like being treated special since you’re always doing it for me.” Donghyuck stares at the car and giggles a bit as he glances down at Mark. “Today I’m making _you_ feel the same way you always try to make _me_ feel. Like the happiest person alive.”

Before Mark can say anything, Donghyuck walks over to the car and holds it open, having him sit in the passenger's seat. He feels Mark curiously watching him as he slides easily in the front seat and pulls as best as he can out of the driveway. It’s still pretty light outside so hopefully by the time they reach the park they’ll have a few hours of sunlight till it falls and they have to head back home.

Soon they reach the park and Donghyuck pulls into a spot, grinning at the sign that reads the name of it. “Here we are.”

“A park date?”

“A _picnic_ date.” Donghyuck loves watching the way Mark’s face light’s up as Donghyuck gets out of the car and gets a blanket and picnic basket out. It’s one of those fancy old ones Donghyuck grandmother had when she was growing up and in the few days before he washed and cleaned out the matching napkins, plates, bowels, candles, silver wear, and containers for food. It was also pretty big and pretty heavy, but this was for Mark and he’d carry it.

“Do you have a place?” He asks.

“No, where ever you want.” Donghyuck smiles and Mark ducks his head embarrassed. They start walking down the path, getting a little deep into the forest until they reach a place with far and few between trees and sunlight filtering in through patches. Mark drops his hand down to take Donghyuck in his own and he squeezes it before following where Mark points with his other.

Donghyuck is thankful for the relaxing and carefree mood Mark us in, making it seem like what Donghyuck had planned as a not entirely platonic—not _at all_ Donghyuck we are past the in denial asshole stage (for goodness sake, why did we ignore Mark for a week again?)—but it’s kind of hard to do that when Marl acts like it’s nothing. But the more Donghyuck ponders on it is when he realizes he’ll just give in to break down Mark’s defenses till he trusts him enough for something like a kiss or taking him as a boyfriend.

Donghyuck sets his basket down and Mark let’s go of his gand to lay out the blanket and sit on it, looking eagerly at the basket Donghyuck brought with him. Donghyuck pulls out plates, utensils, napkins, and a pot of spaghetti he made early That afternoon, happily opening it up so he can see. Mark gives him a thumbs up like something Donghyuck might have done as an eight year old—but instead of cringing like he would usually do, Donghyuck grins back and snickers at his blush.

“So cute…”

“Me?” Mark points to himself and Donghyuck looks up, surprised he heard him but not that fazed. “Yeah, pretty too.”

“Nah,” Mark shly responds. “You’re beautiful, I’m just me.”

“Don’t put yourself down.” Donghyuck looks over at him with a smile. “If I’m pretty then you’re pretty handsome and very adorable.”

Mark only crosses his legs and pulls up his plate to swirl his fork around and slurp some of the noodles up before he asks a question. “What did you even do while on your one week vacation?”

“Planned this date.” Mark flushes up again in surprise. “I also thought about you alot, and me a little about crushes and love. When I talked to him before I left, according to Jaehyun i grew three tears in the span of a week.”

Mark points his fork at Donghyuck. “You _did_ change. You're flirting with me, calling a hangout a date, even bought me _flowers_ in my favorite color and are making me a little concerned for your sanity.”

Donghyuck laughs before he sets his own fork down, reaches across to set mark’s own fork down before taking a hold of his arms. “Mark Lee. This is a date and not a hangout, I _am_ flirting with you, I bought you flowers in blue because I knew you’d like them, and I’m doing all of this because I spent the last week doing a lot of thinking about what I felt about you.”

“Duckie I-” Donghyuck puts a finger to his lips. “Let me finish, then you can talk.” Mark nods and Donghyuck’s eyes flutter closed for a split second as he takes a deep breath. “I realized in the week away from you that I liked you alot and I wanna be a better person for you if I’m ever going to ever ask you to be my boyfriend.”

“Duckie!” Mark cries and scrambles around the blanket to come and sit down in his lap. “God duckie I’ve liked you for a while.” Mark looks down at his fingers with a smile as he takes one and intertwines they’re fingers and Donghyuck smiles.

“You don’t have to be _perfect_ for me, I don’t mind you acting the same way you did before, as long as you direct everything you felt towards Moon Myeon-young towards me.” Mark tries to scoot out of Donghyuck's lap but he holds him in place, straddling his hips.

“Does this mean you’ll be my boyfriend and give me lots of kisses and cuddles?” Donghyuck asks with a bubbly smile, turning off his façade to be more real for him.

“There you are, yes, of course, I will. Just as long as you never leave me again for a week. It was terrible you know? I got so agitated I even punched someone.”

“I saw the video, Jaehyun sent it to me, honestly she deserved it.” Donghyuck wraps his arms around him tighter and peppers kisses all over his face and Mark squirms and laughs. He really missed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> believe it or not, mark is the person who i want to be and donghyuck is the person who i am now. they both share certain traits and both have differences. mark is the person i present in my head, organized, calm, and trying his best to be there for his best friend. but donghyuck is the person who is helplessly on love with someone who shouldn’t matter to him. he’s lazy, anxious, and not aware of the pain he causes mark. but i like to think that mark will wait and donghyuck will change for him. i dunno, just some thoughts. but i hope you liked the final chapter!😖

**Author's Note:**

> [ curious cat ](https://curiouscat.me/litteralydonghyuck)  
> [twitter ](https://twitter.com/hyuckieswrld)  
> comments make my day by 127 a bop!


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